What fuel do you put in a sports car? Does it matter?

I enjoy running.  I don’t know when that actually happened!  I can remember my first steps on the pavement and the agony that I felt as I put each foot painstakingly in front of the other.  I never thought I would actually RUN a full mile. I can remember the encouragement I got from my husband and his hand on my back telling me not to give up.  I can remember my first 5k, I think I walked over half of it.  It was the since of accomplishment as I crossed the finish line at Maclay gardens that first got me hooked.  I remember the first time I ran an entire 5k.  I felt as though I had just climbed Mt. Everest and the smile on my face lasted all day!  I can remember each and every personal best I received and the elation that happened when I cross that finish line.  It is exhilarating, it is addicting, it is a high that is not duplicated. 

BUT what happens when you begin to struggle and you begin to have difficulty reaching the goals you once regularly accomplished and maintained?  What happens when that spark that kept you moving forward seems to be dimming each day? What happens when the “funk” sets in?

I am a happy, go-lucky person 99.8% of the time!  I have been blessed beyond measure.  My life hasn’t been perfect or rosey but I haven’t found anyone that has experienced that so it is best to smile and make the best of every situation!  I run for exercise but I also run to clear my head and for the enjoyment I receive from it.  However, I have recently been really struggling.  On a recent run, God took the time to allow me to have a visual of my physical running with my spiritual running. It hasn’t caused me to bounce out of my funk but each time it allows me to evaluate both my physical and spiritual lives together and see how to navigate the path to victory!

There are simple things that came to mind as I struggle with my runs. 

·         Am I fueling my body with the proper foods?

·         Am I hydrating myself enough? What am I drinking?

·         Am I pushing myself too hard and not running my race?

·         Am I becoming discouraged because I am focused on the hills or distance ahead of me?

·         Am I training?

·         Am I focusing on my struggles thus further impacting my run?

Each run, I go through the questions as I struggle.  Each run I ask God to also be a light to my path so that I might better serve Him.  So I have been just taking notes in my journal as to the things He points out.  They are raw, they are painful.  I will choose not to disclose all of them but I thought maybe there are others that are struggling with their runs either physically or spiritually that might gain some insight from my ramblings.

Fueling the Body

Physically, I know that I can perform and do my best when I maintain a diet that resembles a strict paleo regime known as Whole 30. 

I knew I had been off the strict program for a bit.  It is not a hard program but with vacation and travels, I had allowed foods that negatively impact my body to sneak back into my life.  I had broken up with Starbucks in January but we are slowly reconnecting and having quite the budding relationship!

I LOVE dessert.  I don’t care what kind.  I don’t need a special occasion.  If I survived a day at work or my child smiled, that is reason enough to indulge in some sweet sugary goodness!  I had beaten that little devil of a thing called sugar in January but I slowly let an occasional sweet turn into an almost daily adventure! I caused my food dreams to burst into reality!

Breakfast is a must…but it is the meal that I can so easily give up.  I am never hungry in the morning.  As I would get hungry, I had not properly prepared foods that would fuel my body (please see starbucks relationship above) and thus I begin the day in a deficit.  This is especially a problem considering that I workout in the morning.  I had allowed a Larabar (oh my yumminess) to become my breakfast and justified it as enough.

I do well when I prep my food and have a plan.  However, I HATE grocery shopping and I am not a domestic goddess in the kitchen! As the funk set in, my desire to shop and prep went out the window.  This is a spiral effect that is deadly!  When I got home from my sweet lil girl’s activities, I just wanted food right now.  The smart choices I can usually make at eating establishments quickly give way to “it won’t hurt if I do this one time” foods….every night. (Please reference my love of desserts!)

With a day outlined as above, my body could power through for a bit but eventually it does not have the fuel to make the engine run properly!  I cannot put regular unleaded in this super powered machine! J  When I allow garbage to fuel my body, I cannot be surprised when garbage is the product that is seen in my performance.

Spiritually, it is easy to see the comparison. 

In my spiritual life, I perform best when I am on a strict diet of spending daily time in the Word, praying and surrounding myself with those who seek first His kingdom.

I teach a Sunday morning Bible Study.  Yes, you can feel sorry for them!  It should also not surprise you that this study began in Starbucks!  Ha! Slowly I have begun to allow my preparation time for my Sunday morning class to become my only quiet time with Christ.  Even that time had been negatively impacted by all the “stuff” I needed to do.  Thus, I was starving for the proper fuel and instead giving myself quick jolts of good stuff…but not the best stuff.  It was rushed.  It was not genuine.  It was a fast-food, drive-by fueling….

I LOVE music.  Each of us has different convictions in our life.  God has for a long time convicted me of the music in my life.  I am an audible learner.  I can memorize music and lyrics easily.  Therefore, when I listen to music that is not Christ-centered it impacts me.  I sing it all day long.  Honestly, I don’t even really pay attention to the lyrics.  That is until I hear them come out of my sweet lil girl’s mouth!  I am appalled and ask where she learned such songs…only to find myself humming right along with her!  I justify that I need a good beat to run.  Then, I just want to hear it on the radio one time.  Then, I just want to buy the MP3 to have for my running mix.  Then, I catch myself saying that there just isn’t any Christian music I like right now.    It is a slippery slope that simply pulls me away from my close walk with Christ. 

As I look over the last few months, I see that through small, seemingly minute, changes in my spiritual walk I have seen my communication with Christ dampened.  I am not running my race with the clarity and power that I once had.  I have been putting “fast food” or “artificial sweetners” in place of the real deal.  It will work for a short time but eventually the impact will be seen in my walk. 

In each of these scenarios, it is a personal decision as to if I want to change my fueling method.  If I don’t, I can just run each day and continually  justify my current behavior and try to have a mind game of how my fueling decisions cannot be the cause of the negative impact on my race.  It is a tool that has been effectively used by me for years!

I choose NOT to do that!  I am stubborn.  I choose to stand by the commitment to my body and my commitment to Christ and stop listening the lies and justifications.  It will be hard.  It will take dedication.  It will take saying NO.  I am happy that I have not gained back all that I have lost and that I am not in same valley spiritually that I have been in.  That is not good enough. If I do not strive to properly fuel myself, I will find myself there in no time.  I praise God that He used my running to gain my attention and allow me to see how to grow in my physical and spiritual race! 

This is so elementary….but so much easier to say (type) then live.  I praise God that he has surrounded me with a husband and a group of ladies that encourage me and help hold me accountable!  I never chat much about my struggles but it never fails that they will say something that is just what I needed!  God is an awesome God!  The funk remains BUT I will continue to push forward and I know that the victory ahead will be even sweeter because God isn’t finished with me yet!

I look forward to sharing more of my journey next time!!!  What am I drinking….gulp!!!!

APC